Inner Peace: Dealing with gossip from within

When I engage in gossip or slander, I hurt the other person — and I hurt myself, as well.

At some point I will probably begin to wonder whether people are talking behind my back, as well. Because of my negative focus and things that I say about others, I may start imagining what others are saying about me. I can easily lose my peace of mind and become anxious and uneasy. I may continue to search outside myself to ease or justify my discomfort. I do not know why some behaviors by others bother me and demand my attention. Why can’t I quit thinking about these irritants?

When my gossip slanders another, it is letting everyone know that I am someone whose words wound and destroy. If others listen to me and repeat what I say, a cancerous condition can rapidly spread. This malignancy will ultimately become damaging to me. Others will begin distrusting me while questioning the quality of my integrity. This energy further isolates me from others and my true nature. When I accept information that cannot be substantiated and I treat it as factual, great harm can be created for myself and others.

We are programmed to belong, not to be separated by malicious acts.

Whether I participate in spreading a rumor, the unintended consequences can be damaging when rumors are accepted as factual. I do not treat my object of disrespect the same as those I respect. When I disregard the positive and useful things I can learn from another person, I devalue their totality. Who has harmed whom? What kind of illusion am I creating? What is driving my behavior?

Have you ever had an itch that you could not quite reach? You know the itch will continue until you figure out how to get to it. Personal issues can be somewhat similar in that one can have an obscure issue and cannot identify its source.

One of the many benefits of relationships is reflection. The mirroring effect provides the opportunity to see oneself more clearly. However, we do not always like what we see or recognize who we are looking at. Until one recognizes the person in the mirror, the “itch” will not be relieved.

Typically, when there is something bothering you below your conscious level of awareness, someone will magnify that issue in their behavior and it becomes an irritant to you. This agitation will continue until you find this issue within yourself, however minor that issue might be. The irritation will continue until the true source is recognized and dealt with. Fixing a problem may be impossible if the source is not adequately identified. I have learned that when someone’s behavior is irritating to me and I can’t identify what it relates to, I know that to some degree I have the same issue.

Consider this:

  • Gossip is typically not verifiable nor does it provide a complete understanding of any situation.

  • Gossip may be harmful to the gossiper as well as to the victim.

  • Even if you are a gossip-carrier and not a gossip-spreader, your life will be negatively impacted.

  • Gossip does not have any redeeming value.

  • If you lived on a small island with only a monkey and a coconut tree, what could you learn about yourself?

Those who gossip may believe that their discomfort, ridicule and judgment are about someone else and not a reflection of their own self.

Charles “Al” Huth is an author, teacher, workshop presenter and magician. He has published "Living an Extraordinary Life: The Magic of Oneness" and "Essentials for a Changing World: Living Harmoniously with Yourself and Others." See his website at http://

Send 600 to 700 word articles on all aspects of inner peace to Sally McKirgan








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